lessons from the potty chair: the spirituality of potty training

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I was dreading potty training my third son. He’s quite stubborn and he doesn’t talk so I was expecting a horrible weekend*.

But as with anything mandatory with kids, I jumped in and did it anyway. Partway through the day I had this sudden realization that it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be, and not because he was miraculously potty trained in 5 minutes. (he wasn’t, just to clarify)

I had this little epiphany: God is helping me. He is giving me wisdom and patience (LOTS OF IT) and energy so that I can continue the dreaded P-Day with joy. The revelation surprised me, because I had not thought to pray about potty training.

It is easier to remember to call on God when I’m working at church, or leading a Bible study, or praying with my kids. But perhaps I had compartmentalized my faith – remembering that God is with me when I’m doing “spiritual” things and forgetting that He also deeply cares about the things that are “mundane”.

Because really, when God is with us, everything is spiritual and has purpose. Even potty training.

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed [or potty training],
do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Colossians 3:17

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The 3-day intensive potty-training method that I prefer requires that my son and I become constant companions. I cannot even go to the bathroom or check my email without having my eyes on him, and he cannot secretively dump his brother’s coin collection or eat an entire tube of toothpaste because he is beside me, and I am beside him.

I have grown closer to my little guy this weekend, better understanding his wants and needs, and he has stayed out of mischief!

Similarly, I am better able to stay out of mischief when I sit beside my God. His loves and desires for my life start to become my loves and desires and I begin to exercise my freedom in healthier ways.

“I am the vine; you are the branches.
If you remain in me and I in you,
you will bear much fruit;
apart from me you can do nothing.”

John 15:5

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As I train my child to empty his bladder into a toilet rather than the convenience of his pants, I must remember that he needs a lot of extra grace. He is trying something very new and it would be unfair to expect him to have complete success right away. He is a child, and is learning one more skill in the process of growing up.

Likewise, my God has a lot of patience too. I often feel like He must be terribly disappointed in me when I mess up. And yet, if I, an earthly parent, can extend grace and love when my child pees his pants for the tenth time today, how much more grace and love does my heavenly Parent extend to me when I say the wrong thing yet again? I am learning one more skill in the process of growing up spiritually.

“If you then, though you are evil,
know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your Father in heaven
give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Luke 11:13

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*If there is potty training on the horizon for you, please check out the 3 Day Potty Training method! I had tried another method with our eldest with much frustration, and someone recommended this one to me. Within a day of trying it, he had it figured out. Our middle child took about the 3 days, and our youngest is on day 3 and basically trained now too. This method is VERY different from the usual, and involves no diapers or pull-ups, even at night. It really does work! It’s just these 3 days I was dreading. 😉 If you want to take a look at the e-book, here a Canadian link and an American link. (these are affiliate links, posted only because I seriously love this product and costs nothing extra for you!)

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5 Comments

  1. Michele Morin

    This post brings back all kinds of memories of potty training four little guys. And as a branch, I sure need to abide in the vine, to enter into all that I do with all my heart, and to remember that all of God’s gifts (all of them) are good.

    Reply
    • Christie

      Happy to bring back the “good old days” for you! haha. Thanks for stopping by Michele!!

      Reply
  2. Alice Walters

    I love this! And don’t we love and Praise God that He loves to be in the middle of the mess, right with us. I regret not realizing this as a younger mother. But now, God tenderly reminds me as a grandparent. Thanks for being knew of those reminders.

    Reply
  3. Laura J. Davis

    Your post definitely brings back memories. I had one boy and one girl. The girl was a strong-willed child and seemed to always know when I was hatching a plot to do something. In this case toilet training. If Mommy wanted it done, then she would dig in her heals against it. We finally had to resort to fantasy and make-believe – thus the Diaper Fairy was born. The Diaper Fairy only came when she thought little girls were big enough for wearing “big-girl” panties. She would (like the Tooth Fairy) take away all the diapers in the house and leave only fancy pants. In those days little girl’s underwear had frills and lace so she anxiously waited every night for these fancy pants and was disappointed when they didn’t arrive. When the Diaper Fairy finally came, she was so excited she was instantly trained. I on the other hand waited in fear that I’d need to drag out the diapers at night, but she was adamant that she would not pee the bed. And she didn’t. Today, she is an illustrator and we are working on a children’s book called – The Diaper Fairy.

    The boy was not as gullible, but he did have his pride and when one of his friends tapped him on the behind one day and said, “You still wear a diaper?” He immediately came in the house tore off his diaper, used the toilet, grabbed some underwear and never looked back.

    Reply
    • Christie

      Those are some great potty-training stories! I especially love that your daughter is writing a book about your invention. So neat!!

      Reply

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